Keeping the Perspective

You have probably never woke up in the morning with the immediate thought of the trouble awaiting you today. I guess I should not have been surprised, for I left the thoughts of this trouble right beside my pillow last night. A bit of transparency right here...I just preached the midweek service, including the principle of casting our burdens on Him, not keeping or carrying them. EPIC FAIL. Anyway, when I woke up, POW, there it was; an overwhelming cloud of question and uncertainty. As I sought the Lord in prayer this morning, I pleaded for His direction and help through His word. Please continue reading to see the help I received.

I enjoy reading a chapter of Proverbs each day, the one which coincides with the date. [Editor's note: I highly recommend this.] As I read chapter 5, familiar with the contents and already doubting I would receive anything from it, I got sucker-punched. Those wonderful words of verses 15 through 18 reminded me of my lost Perspective.

Have you ever thought about who winds up being the first to suffer, as well as the worst to suffer through your difficulties? I can easily hit the rewind and see that when I physically hurt in my body, I just want to lay down and crash. When I am trying to deal with emotional hurts, I retreat to my "happy place" which is a table for one at Pity's Pub. It seems to me, when anything goes wrong in my life, my wife is the real victim. Is it because I love her less? Is it because she loves me less? Is it her fault that these things came about? Most definitely no, no, and no. If you are nearly as blessed as I am, then you have a wife, or husband, for you ladies, that strives to be supportive, helpful, and loving. I haven't pushed her away on purpose, but today the Lord reminded me that the command is to rejoice with my wife, regardless of what else may be happening in my life.


If God has filled your life with the love of a loyal spouse, understand that
they are going through your trouble with you, if you let them. Solomon
reminds us of the strength of a three-fold cord. Allow the Lord to minister to you by way of that third cord. And don't let the stuff of life interrupt the rejoicing that should always be taking place in your marriage. Through the hard times, keep the right Perspective.

Truly vast as the ocean

My Prayer Perch overlooking the Atlantic Ocean

Unfortunately, I am back from a grand vacation at one of my favorite places on this earth, Topsail Island, NC. In spite of the clear and present danger of Hurricane Isaac, we drove down a week ago this past Sunday, and we were rewarded for our faith with a beautiful week of sunshine, warm air, and warm, calm water. Wednesday morning I awoke with a song in my head, really out of nowhere. I hadn't heard it in quite a long time, but it seemed to start my day perfectly as I sat out on the deck off of our bedroom. The picture is the view from my "Prayer Perch" and as I watched the tide rolling and the dolphins following the shrimp troller, some thoughts came to me, birthed out of the hymn I awoke with.

From my "perch" I thought of the shear vastness of the Atlantic Ocean. I realize the Pacific is larger, but I was sitting in front of this ocean that was rolling up on the shores of the United States of America and, at the same time, rolling up on the shores of Wales, where this song originated nearly 4000 miles away, and I thought about how the relentless love of God rolls up on the shores of humanity, no matter where they are. It is a well-known fact that water covers about 3/4 of the globe. How overwhelming is that? And on the edge of every land mass in every part of the world, the ocean is rolling up on the shore. Then, while the sight of the ocean reminded me of the relentless, ever-present love of God, I thought about the waves. Through the week at Topsail I saw times of high tide and I saw times of low tide. Interestingly, some high tides were higher than others and some low tides were lower than others. Yet, in every tide, high or low, the waves seemed to keep pushing toward the shore. I could not help but admit that even in the lowest times of my life, though I would try to deny His presence, I still knew the love of God. That love still rolled, as the waves, toward the deep and troubled shores of my heart. You know, in a week at the beach, not one time did the waves ever stop. What an incredible comfort to know that in every season of my life, the waves of God's love will never stop.

On Tuesday, we did have some rainy, stormy weather and if you have ever been to the shore and seen a storm come in, you know what happens to the ocean waves. They swell. I got excited as I thought about how at the most difficult times of life, the times of great storms, the waves of God's love grow greater, seeming to push harder to make their way to the shore of our soul to assure us of His presence, to comfort us and even bring peace. Even as the wind would blow against the tide, the waves still roll shoreward.

The Bible says in I John 3:1, " Behold, what manner of love the Father hath bestowed upon us, that we should be called the sons of God". God has bestowed upon us a love that is measureless and relentless, not to mention deep, but it has a purpose. See the imperative in that verse. We should be called the sons of God. All of us aren't, but we should be. That's not just my Perspective. It's God's too.

Here is love, vast as the ocean,                            
Loving kindness as the flood,
When the Prince of Life, our Ransom,
Shed for us His precious blood.
Who His love will not remember?
Who can cease to sing His praise?
He can never be forgotten,
Throughout Heav’n’s eternal days.

On the mount of crucifixion,
Fountains opened deep and wide;
Through the floodgates of God’s mercy
Flowed a vast and gracious tide.
Grace and love, like mighty rivers,
Poured incessant from above,
And Heav’n’s peace and perfect justice
Kissed a guilty world in love.

William Rees

What Every Wife Wants

I think I have figured something out about blogging. The most important part seems to be the title. It got you here, right? Well, I do not claim to be an expert on women or wives so shut down the skeptical part of your brain. I do have a wife and I do know that the Bible says in I Peter 3:7  "Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge...", so I have tried to be a student of the wonderful gift God has given me in my wife, Jen. Recently, Jen was asked by another Christian lady, "Have you ever been afraid of your husband? Afraid that he would leave?" Thankfully, my wife was able to reply, "No. Never." Once Jen told me of this conversation, the wheels began to turn. I was certainly glad to know her answer. Evidently, I had done something right, but what was it and am I still doing it? I love to do things right, but it sure is a whole lot more fun if I know what they are. I turned to her and asked, "What do I do that allows you to say that so easily?" So now you know that these are not really my thoughts coming up. I am writing what a wife has reported on what makes her feel secure in our marriage and I am sure she is not alone so ladies, by all means read, but also, feel free to share with your husbands.

There were not a ton of answers. It was a short conversation so don't think it impossible to fulfill this great task. First, articulate your commitment to your spouse. Not so tough. Her quickest response told me that because I have made a point to tell her, not just once or twice, that I will never consider divorce an option, she feels that our marriage is safe from dissolution. She is sure that whatever the conflict, we will talk it out. I can't tell you exactly how long it was between occurrences, but I do know that the very word "divorce" was not even spoken in our home for a span of something like 15 years. We have referred to it a time or two as the "D" word, but that was to aid in conversation about someone else. Guys are regularly made fun of because of a perceived problem with commitment. Husbands, you need to let your wife know that you have no problem with commitment and be serious about it. "She knows I love her." "She knows I'd never leave her." Oh yeah? How? Not if you don't tell her. And tell her again. And again.

The second part of her response was just about as quick. She really didn't have to think about these things. The second thing a wife wants (by the way, there were only two things) is to show your commitment to your spouse. You know it to be true...talk is cheap. Yes, my wife and other wives want to hear that her husband is in this for the long haul, but put up or shut up. As I have said before, this is not a book review but there is a book that I read a long time ago that I highly recommend to every man. This book taught me the great value of putting hedges around your marriage to show your wife that you mean business about protecting your marriage. I am not talking about avoiding other females all together or walking around looking at the floor. Jen knows that I will not transport a female in my car by myself, unless it is a relative or someone obviously "out of play" due to age. And even then, Jen receives a phone call or text from me about it. I will not meet one on one with a female behind closed doors or even in public at a "table for two". Some people think, "What's the big deal?" "Don't you trust each other?" And I say, absolutely, but why open yourself or the other to questions and doubts. How many marriages would still be going on if men never crossed the line into one on one meetings and meals with another woman. Oh, they didn't mean to fall in love. It just happened. Not if you never give it the chance.
 
Jen also said there were a thousand other little things I do everyday, but I don't want to brag. Seriously, only two specific things came from the heart of my wife expressing what makes her secure in our marriage. All I have to do is say it and show it and she is totally at ease, never questioning my friendships or relationships, and I never have to deal with jealousy. There is plenty in this world to worry about and there is so much out there trying to tear our homes apart. How comforting it is, at the end of the day, to be able to come together with full assurance that no matter what, we are forever. As the husband of the best girl in the world, that is the best Perspective of all.