What Every Wife Wants

I think I have figured something out about blogging. The most important part seems to be the title. It got you here, right? Well, I do not claim to be an expert on women or wives so shut down the skeptical part of your brain. I do have a wife and I do know that the Bible says in I Peter 3:7  "Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge...", so I have tried to be a student of the wonderful gift God has given me in my wife, Jen. Recently, Jen was asked by another Christian lady, "Have you ever been afraid of your husband? Afraid that he would leave?" Thankfully, my wife was able to reply, "No. Never." Once Jen told me of this conversation, the wheels began to turn. I was certainly glad to know her answer. Evidently, I had done something right, but what was it and am I still doing it? I love to do things right, but it sure is a whole lot more fun if I know what they are. I turned to her and asked, "What do I do that allows you to say that so easily?" So now you know that these are not really my thoughts coming up. I am writing what a wife has reported on what makes her feel secure in our marriage and I am sure she is not alone so ladies, by all means read, but also, feel free to share with your husbands.

There were not a ton of answers. It was a short conversation so don't think it impossible to fulfill this great task. First, articulate your commitment to your spouse. Not so tough. Her quickest response told me that because I have made a point to tell her, not just once or twice, that I will never consider divorce an option, she feels that our marriage is safe from dissolution. She is sure that whatever the conflict, we will talk it out. I can't tell you exactly how long it was between occurrences, but I do know that the very word "divorce" was not even spoken in our home for a span of something like 15 years. We have referred to it a time or two as the "D" word, but that was to aid in conversation about someone else. Guys are regularly made fun of because of a perceived problem with commitment. Husbands, you need to let your wife know that you have no problem with commitment and be serious about it. "She knows I love her." "She knows I'd never leave her." Oh yeah? How? Not if you don't tell her. And tell her again. And again.

The second part of her response was just about as quick. She really didn't have to think about these things. The second thing a wife wants (by the way, there were only two things) is to show your commitment to your spouse. You know it to be true...talk is cheap. Yes, my wife and other wives want to hear that her husband is in this for the long haul, but put up or shut up. As I have said before, this is not a book review but there is a book that I read a long time ago that I highly recommend to every man. This book taught me the great value of putting hedges around your marriage to show your wife that you mean business about protecting your marriage. I am not talking about avoiding other females all together or walking around looking at the floor. Jen knows that I will not transport a female in my car by myself, unless it is a relative or someone obviously "out of play" due to age. And even then, Jen receives a phone call or text from me about it. I will not meet one on one with a female behind closed doors or even in public at a "table for two". Some people think, "What's the big deal?" "Don't you trust each other?" And I say, absolutely, but why open yourself or the other to questions and doubts. How many marriages would still be going on if men never crossed the line into one on one meetings and meals with another woman. Oh, they didn't mean to fall in love. It just happened. Not if you never give it the chance.
 
Jen also said there were a thousand other little things I do everyday, but I don't want to brag. Seriously, only two specific things came from the heart of my wife expressing what makes her secure in our marriage. All I have to do is say it and show it and she is totally at ease, never questioning my friendships or relationships, and I never have to deal with jealousy. There is plenty in this world to worry about and there is so much out there trying to tear our homes apart. How comforting it is, at the end of the day, to be able to come together with full assurance that no matter what, we are forever. As the husband of the best girl in the world, that is the best Perspective of all.

Camp Meeting...Old School

Yes it has been a week since my last post. Please accept my apologies. I do appreciate your interest and I hope I did not discourage anyone from checking back regularly. This past week was Camp Meeting at the Eastern Pennsylvania Baptist Fellowship campgrounds. It was a week of great preaching, singing, eating, and fellowshipping in a setting that is a bit of a throw-back to days gone by, including the main preacher for the week, Dr. Tolbert Moore, Pastor Emeritus of the Galilean Baptist Church of Lawrenceville, Georgia.  This is no disparaging comment made to disrespect the age of this esteemed man of God, but at 83 years old, he certainly is a different breed of preacher than that we are accustomed to in this day. And I am thankful for it. Our day lacks the spiritual and scriptural insight of anointed preachers who would not withhold the truth of God's word in an effort to build a name for them self and/or a following for their ministry. We have traded the no-nonsense exposition of the Bible with its practical application, for a warm, buttery, watered-down sample of self-help advise tainted with half of a Bible verse to add a religious spin. We have lost the desire for real improvement in our life, satisfied to feel good about us as we dress up, carry our Bible, and go off to church for Sunday morning service. Dr. Moore's kind of preaching is not only appropriate in this setting, reminding us of the days of Billy Sunday as he would challenge people to "hit the sawdust trail", but necessary in every setting where people are gathered to hear the word of God preached. It is certainly especially enjoyable under the old time tabernacle, but it truly belongs in our pulpits. I am challenged in my spirit to strive to keep the gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ as the central theme of my preaching, to keep the main thing the main thing, knowing that is where these great men of God received their power and influence. Romans 1:16 tells us that the gospel is the "power of God, unto salvation".

I am not paying lip service to a man or men. I am confessing the truth of the adage, "There's no school like the old school."  Sadly, these men are fewer and fewer. Born and raised in a day where life was simple and character mattered, they are fading from view regularly. There just aren't many left and I want to glean all that I can from those that remain because what they have to offer is not just valuable, it's priceless. So I thank God for, not just the blessings of His presence in our meetings this past week, and it was sweet, but also for the presence of the man of God, Dr. Tolbert Moore, with nearly 70 years of ministry behind him; years of study, prayer, service, and a lot of funny stories. When I grow up, I would be glad to be just like him. But that's just my Perspective.

Family Devotion

This morning I have a couple firsts. The first first you may pick up on quickly because the blog itself may look different. I am writing this on my phone through the Blogger app and having never used it before, I am not sure how it will turn out. For that reason, I will probably be brief. And please overlook any typos and autospell mistakes. I will come back later and fix any mistakes I missed.
The second first of the day was just wrapped up and I wanted to report it to you. The Wilson family has always had a devotion time. When the kids were younger, Bible reading and prayer as a family was more frequent but as they have grown we have stressed personal Bible reading and devotion. I am always looking for new and exciting ways to incorporate the Bible into our family living and that tends to be challenging as my family gets older. Maybe this new way of "devoting" together will encourage you and your family. Last week I asked Jen to pick up five small spiral bound notebooks. These are 5.5 x 4.25 with 200 sheets. I passed out the notebooks to each family member, along with a pen in the spiral. At the beginning of the week I suggested a scripture reference that we all wrote on the front of a page. For the last week we have been memorizing the verse if we didn't already know it and each of us were to write our personal impressions or thoughts about the verse in our notebooks. This morning we all came together after breakfast and shared what tidbits we wrote in our notebooks. This spurred a great conversation among all of us and allowed each to express their own understanding or what the verse said to them. I am totally excited over the content and participation in this new devotion method. Everyone had personal insights to share and we all gained a greater understanding of the verse because of it. The verse was Romans 3:23 which was a familiar verse to start with and here are some of the thoughts that were shared from my family.
- All of society's religions or rituals are an attempt to approach God or hit the mark of righteousness, and every one of us miss. We fall short.
- Not only do we all sin, but we all fall short in our effort.
- It is not just a matter of "messing up". We are all sinners, truly sinful. Let's not minimize that.
- No one is perfect. We all need healing.
- Although we are all unique creations of God, we are bound by the commonality of our sinfulness.
What a blessing to hear these truths come from the hearts, minds, and mouths of my family. By the way, the back side of each page is for recording the thoughts from every one else. We picked a new scripture for memorization and study this week and I am really looking forward to building on this new special time of family devotion. I encourage you to bring the Bible, its reading and teaching into your family. It certainly does not have to be this way, but I am sure that if you can incorporate the Bible into your family life, there is a much greater chance that your children will incorporate it into their personal life, at least, that's my Perspective.
Now I am heading into the pool with my family. Stay safe and cool today and be sure to check on someone you know could be in danger today because of the extreme weather.

Happy Independence Day

 

 "The second day of July, 1776, will be the most memorable epoch in the history of America. I am apt to believe that it will be celebrated by succeeding generations as the great anniversary festival. It ought to be commemorated as the day of deliverance, by solemn acts of devotion to God Almighty. It ought to be solemnized with pomp and parade, with shows, games, sports, guns, bells, bonfires, and illuminations, from one end of this continent to the other, from this time forward forever more."- John Adams to his wife, Abigail, referencing Independence Day, the day it was approved in Congress.

It is truly a day worth celebrating and I love to celebrate. My wife has made me quite the family tradition lover and there are several things that I relish about this day. I believe it is important to say that we should not lose this day in festivities. This last Memorial Day there were several pictures and posts on social media sites that reminded us that Memorial Day is not just another day to have a cook-out, and I would remind you of that same message for this great day. You have heard it said "Freedom is not free" and therefore can not be taken for granted. Aside from the opportunity that this day affords us to get together with dear friends and share a meal, there are a couple other things that always come to mind and I thought that I would share them. I could not go through this day without rehearsing in my mind The Star Spangled Banner. In my home, I have heard it several times today and it still gives me goose bumps. Another of my holiday favorites is certainly common to a lot of people, and that is the viewing of fireworks. Every year I try to get out to a couple displays, but it never seems to work out. By far, the best show I have seen personally is the "Illuminations" show at Disney's Epcot. One of the best televised/videoed displays, although not in America, would be New Year's in London, 2012.

My church has heard me say several times that a great patriot is a great christian and a great christian is a great patriot. Of course, that is not to say that national pride earns you a ticket to heaven, but to consider the heritage of this great nation and truly appreciate it must bring one to an appreciation of the one true Giver of Liberty. Despite revisionist history, I still believe in the Christian, not religious, not Judeo-Christian, but Christian foundation upon which this country was founded and built. If you struggle with this truth or wish to gain a deeper understanding of this truth, I highly recommend David Barton's website, Wall Builders.

And so on this great day of celebration, I encourage all Americans to stand up for liberty and against all who would threaten or take from us this liberty, but so much the more, I want to encourage God's people today, "Stand fast therefore in the liberty wherewith Christ hath made us free". As a Christian and an American, that has to be my Perspective.